Can't Make a Hoe a Housewife?

So I have this buddy who married a complete hoe. She's totally and ancient and versatile agricultural tool used to move small amounts of soil. All of his friends could see it, but he couldn't for some reason.

I personally told him marrying her was a horrible idea. I was like, "Dude, you're going to be customer servicing your ass off all day, and then come home to a complete mess and no dinner."

He told me to piss off, and then he quoted some song by Tonic. He stopped being my friend when I reminded him about our "Bros Before Hoes" pledge.

He then kicked me in the groin.

I ran into his mom at the gas station and she told me some shit he's dealing with...

I don't feel sorry for him...