Director Darren Aronofsky is slated to direct a new Robocop movie.
This made me ponder.
Can a man of his artistic integrity take something like Robocop and mold it into something artistic?
I think there's really nothing he can do to make Robocop any less cliche...unless he remakes Bladerunner.
Maybe...
If he made Robocop the head of an orphanage for cyborg children, then that would be a more compelling story.
Oh well, if you're going to make a blockbuster, go big, go cliche and go all the way!
Here's Ten Tips for making the new Robocop movie awesome:
1) Make it Ultra-Violent. I want nothing less the 70 kills in the movie. If it's going to be better than Robocop 1 and 2, it better have more kills than both of them combined. If you want to redeem Robocop 3, make it 80 kills.
2) "Freeze, creep!" better make it into the script.
3) Don't do anything from Robocop 3. Not even jet packs!
4) "I'd by that for a dollar."
5) Don't change Robocop's Apple II programming.
6) Use the script of Johnny Mnemonic but replace Keanu Reaves with Robocop.
7) Don't have Officer Lewis be in the movie. She's the reason he got capped and she also sucks.
8) Have him team with a Johhny 5 or Rob Schneider.
9) Have that megalomaniac kid from Robocop 2 return as a cyborg.
10) Don't make Robocop time travel. That's ridiculous.
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