The Mike Bates/Howard Johnson Connection

Mike Bates Looks exactly like this DonRuss baseball card of Howard Johnson (HoJo).
For your information, Mike Bates is the greatest man on the planet! If you don't know, you better ask somebody.
(I'm still blogging from San Diego, will return tomorrow!)

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Now playing: Dance Dance Revolution - dj TAKA - Colors (Midihead's Sapphire mix)
via FoxyTunes
(Note: I updated this blog on 9-1-07, with a new side-by-side comparison of Hojo and M.W.B.)

From FunTown, San Diego

The FunTown Chronicles

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From San Diego

Poison Clothes?!?

According to Financial Times.com, China may have been exporting poison clothes to New Zealand.
I could only imagine how this was discovered...


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Now playing: The Shins - Girl On the Wing
via FoxyTunes

Richard Baldwin Update

I've got an update from R.B. himself! Good news for all of you Rich-a-Holics.

It has been an exciting week in the personal and professional life of Richard Baldwin:

Richard is leading the Western Region in the “Let’s get a jump on Labor Day” Sales Contest. He is once again on track for his weekly $25 bonus and the overall prize of up to an additional $200!!!!!

He and his wife had a constructive, yet enjoyable weekend as they took several hours to clean their condo. He cleaned out their refrigerator after several months of left-over “pile up” as a result of many nights of “take out.” He then stumbled upon some old asparagus in the rear of his refrigerator which had started collecting mold, unfortunate, because it would have gone perfectly with the grilled chicken he was planning for dinner! There was also an open can of Alpo and a Tupperware dish full of plain cooked macaroni noodles.

GenericDave.com is your #1 source of all news that is Richard Baldwin.

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Now playing: Rise Against - The Good Left Undone
via FoxyTunes

Something Funny I Found

This picture was listed on My Yahoo! page.

Something about it reminds me of Mike Bates in the digital age.

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Now playing: Stavely Makepeace - Slippery Rock 70's
via FoxyTunes

Lightning Bird?

Here is another radical grandpa hand-carved knickknack we got.
A yellow canary...

...or is it...

Lightning Bird '07 (a.k.a Lord Zeffa's Return '07)

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Now playing: Rise Against - Prayer Of The Refugee (acoustic)
via FoxyTunes

Electronic Organ

When Stacie and I picked up the hand-carved Gordon's Fisherman, we also picked up the most dudical electronic organ ever!
Here it is!

Notice how it has many switches, pedals, and a cassette deck. Did I mention one of the pedals controls the volume? Jealous? You will be once you see...

...that it has all of the most popular beats of the future. Feel like waltzing? It's now at the touch of a turquoise button.
I'll post a video later to show how awesome it sounds. Pictures cannot describe what amazing tones can be plunked out of this. An example, if you wanted to recreate the soundtrack to Megaman II, you could use this instrument to faithfully recreate it.
You wouldn't even need a pesky computer!

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Now playing: Weezer - Pink Triangle
via FoxyTunes

Gordon's Samurai Fisherman

Stacie's Granny gave us a whole bunch of awesome knick-knacks this weekend.
I would now like to share with you one of the world's greatest treasures...

Gordon's Samurai Fisherman, 2007

Burning Riot, 2007 (Forest Fire/Fisherman Remix)


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Now playing: Anti-Flag - Operation Iraqi Liberation (O.I.L.)
via FoxyTunes

A Look Back at Staples (The Robot Wars of 2005)

Here's a look back when I was working at the Staples Copy Center. They kept telling me I had to do like a million things, and so I put together a proposal that robots should work in the copy center instead of me. They didn't hire any robots, and I eventually left to intern at a newspaper.
But here are the never before published scenes from "The Robot Wars 2005!"

This one's called "Optimal Effeciency (Even Robots Occasionally Bitch)"


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Now playing: The Figgs - Village Green
via FoxyTunes

Cloud of Death Concept Art

Here is another concept I want you to wrap your head around.

It's called "Cloud of Death." The cloud's origins are unknown, it's also unknown how it acquired so many cartoon-type bombs.
This amazing concept came up during a meeting or something. I think it's pretty intense. A cloud can go anywhere, there's nowhere to hide. Especially when it can fire like four arrows at one time.

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Now playing: Youth Brigade - I Hate My Life
via FoxyTunes

Spanish Book Sample

I'm trying to figure out the best way to make this available online. In the mean time, here is a sample of the Spanish Book.
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Now playing: Something Corporate - Hurricane
via FoxyTunes

4H Clubb Concept Art

I just dug up this year-old concept art I came up with when Stacie, Katie, Jeff and I were on the most unstoppable bowling team.
The team!

The 4H Clubb stands for the 4 Heroes Clubb.
Adult Legs-She is a 12-year old girl who has the legs of an adult woman. Her special ability is that she can run faster than most 12-year olds. Oh yeah, her feet are like canoes too. She can ski across water.
MBI 2026-is a government project from the '70s. He is addicted to government-grown drugs. His special ability is complaining about things, and being lazy.
The Hammer-He has hammers for hands and a shiny head that can deflect bullets. He has excellent smashing abilities.
Jeff the Cat-Jeff the Cat is incredibly cute. His special abilities include climbing trees, catching rodents and bugs, and eating food. His tail becomes fluffy when he senses danger.
Sr. Brain-An Apple II imbued with ancient alien AI. He can reason through the most difficult of Sudoku puzzles. He also as 14.4kb fax/modem.

Some more concept art


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Now playing: Shiny Toy Guns - You Are The One
via FoxyTunes

Ninja Babies Concept Art

Here's another comic book I'm looking to get financed (My estimated budget is about $6,000,000,000,000). It's called "Ninja Babies." It's about this guy who works at bowling alley. The guy discovers these alien baby clones. He think they're just babies, but really they're super bad ass intergalactic assassins!

Okay, super rich dudes, get those check books ready!

The Logo


Concept Art


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Now playing: The Bouncing Souls - For All the Unheard
via FoxyTunes

Oswald or Akuma

I'm thinking of changing the name of my cat Oswald to Akuma.

It's inspired by the Street Fighter character of the same name. He kind of reminds me of Akuma, the evil version of Ryu.

Life Imitates Art

Look at this picture of my world-famous wife and the king of the jungle Morris.

It looks a lot like this Michelangelo piece, eh?


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Now playing: Rancid - Journey To The End Of The East Bay
via FoxyTunes

Little Buddha (a.k.a. On the Wings of a Valkyrie '07)

When I think of Khagendra Thapa Magar, my heart soars to the danger zone!


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Now playing: Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
via FoxyTunes

Little Buddha (a.k.a. Fire's Ignited Passion '07)

Another tribute to Khagendra Thapa Magar, my favorite person on the planet.


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Now playing: Against Me! - Unprotected Sex With Multiple Partners
via FoxyTunes

Little Buddha (a.k.a. Inspiration '07)

Khagendra Thapa Magar claims to be world's shortest boy. Guinness Record Book does not have a record for world's shortest boy. He'll have to wait until he's 19 to be measured. Even though some may doubt his claim, there is not doubt he is the world's cutest Buddhist. If you google image search his name, you will come a across a picture of him standing among the clouds praying. The picture below is a dedication to him.

The background photo was taken by Andrew D. Somerville, a.k.a Smoreville, S-Clubb, SportPup.

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Now playing: Alkaline Trio - Back To Hell
via FoxyTunes

A Godly Combination

Finally, our prayers have been answered! A game company is making a Christian-based karaoke game. It's about time somebody combined my love for God with my passion for singing.
Yyou could probably guess that when I'm hosting karaoke, about a 1,000,000 people tell me to purchase hymnal songs. I also get about 5,000 requests nightly for Jars of Clay and DC Talk's "Jesus Freak."

I'd prefer to keep my Christian singer as straight-laced as possible. No zany ties for me! I prefer the missionary look. By the way, I didn't Photoshop that picture.
The image is from http://www.cloud9games.com/Heavenly%20Harmony.htm.

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Now playing: Thursday - Jet Black New Year (Single Version)
via FoxyTunes

Something Weird Happened...

I was flipping through the channels on Sunday and I saw a movie called "Chain Reaction" (I immediately thought it was going to be awesome). When I changed the channel, I felt disappointment instead of jubilation. Instead of awesome, I saw Keanu Reeves invent some laser-beam-water-power thing while Morgan Freeman chomped a cigar.

I guess somewhere in my brain I thought I was about to watch "Chill Factor" starring Cuba Gooding Jr.
What a weird mistake to make!

I also watched Reindeer Games starring Ben Afleck this weekend. I didn't mistakenly watch it, but...it was a mistake to watch it.

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Now playing: I Am The Avalanche - New Disaster
via FoxyTunes

They Hunger for Living Flesh!

This is a photo of when President Bush went to visit zombie victims.


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Now playing: Strike Anywhere - Blaze

New Graphic Novel Concept

I'm looking for someone to greenlight this graphic novel concept I've come up with.
It's totally a remix of something that's been popular for like 2,000 years: Sherlock Holmes.
The 21st Century twist is that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's protagonist is now a phantasmal spirit (a ghost).
I'm kind of pitching it as a cyberpunk, noir, post-apocalyptic mash-up with some New Orleans Zydeco flavor.
Here is the concept art:
Version 1.0


Version 2.0
The estimated project budget is $3 billion. Cashier's check accepted.
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Now playing: Brand New - Okay I Believe You, but My Tommy Gun Don't
posted with FoxyTunes

Jawesome Photoshopping I Did

Title: Requiem Du Vampire Kid, 2007


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Now playing: Rise Against - Voices Off Camera
posted with FoxyTunes

The Recall of 1,000,000 Toys (A.K.A. The Rise of the Robots)

Look, I was eating lead-painted toys for a good part of my life. Totally did not mess me up, just read this blog.
Robots are the ones who paint toys now, didn't you know? We told them in 1985 not to use lead paint. Looks like they did not get the memo.
What I think is pretty weird about the whole thing, is normally when toys get recalled, they're pretty much shitty toys that no one bought to begin with. Kind of like an 8-legged, playpen-bouncy-chair-hybrid.
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Now playing: The Format - If Work Permits
posted with FoxyTunes

Steak Salad

Steak Salad was the number 7 most searched term on Yahoo today.
Unfortunately, "Leukemia Symptoms" and the ever popular "Jenna Elfman" (from t.v.'s Dharma and Greg) defeated America's favorite son, Steak Salad.
Stay tuned to some more awesome things that people don't really search for. Web robots actually do the searching so you think things are popular. Robots are extremely jealous of human taste buds and this usually results in a favorite food dish, i.e. Macaroni & Cheeze, making the list of top searched terms. You can command a robot to continually search for Jenna Elfman, but every 100th search or so, it will search for "pizza" or "surf n turf" instead.
Why would I believe something like that?
The day in reality where Jenna Elfman is more popular than a steak salad, the internet will explode.
On a high note, Steak Salad defeated Birthday Ecards.

From www.yahoo.com, Aug. 1, 2007.