Ummm...

I need to change the channel, please.

Marketing Tip

Generating a "buzz" about your product or service is the best way to grow customer base.
For example: Dr. Pepper used a constipated girl on its bottle.
HOT DARN! That's one heck of a buzz!!!

Baby Mario

Do you know there exists a program that rivals MS Paint in it's awesomeness? It's called Doodle Buddy and it's available on iPhone.

Here's Baby Mario, courtesy of me and my buddy, Doodle Buddy.

(You can tell it's  Baby Mario because he doesn't have a 'stache!)

Latiku!!!!

Experts say the the success of a blog depends on the frequency and quality of content.
So...I've been neglecting this absurd blog, BUT, I've been drawing animal babies over at The Pondering Duck.

Sorry to keep you waiting, here is the awesome content you've been waiting for...

A picture of Latiku I drew using MS paint!!!

(Super Cute)

Maruchan!

Before Maru the Cat bounced into boxes, there was this little cutie stamped on boxes (of ramen)!

I drew this little guy with Doodle Buddy on the iPhone. MS Paint is my preferred artistic medium, but this will suffice for now.

Doodle Buddy?

I'm away and don't have my drawing supplies. Luckily there's an app for that...erm...I mean an app that's like MS paint.

Ninjas + Babies = Ninja Babies

Oh crap, I forgot. I was supposed to be hanging up the laundry, but I drew these Ninja Babies instead...
Well, at least I'll still have them when I'm kicked out on the streets for not hanging up the laundry ;)

Ghost Crab

Beware! The ocean has many deadly, haunting, secrets! Shark attacks are dangerous to your physical body, ghost crab attacks are lethal to your soul!!!

I'm on a road trip, posting this blog from the back seat of Uncle Beet's car.

A Comic Strip?

I made a comic strip. It's about a duck, that's also a ghost.
He hangs out with a baby, who also happens to be a ninja....

Check out other random duck stuff on my tumblr site!

Cat Week?!?!?!

Shark Week is pretty cool, but Cat Week is even more awesome...

Especially when this chubby orange plays Donkey Konga

Awesome Adventures in Fantasy Land 4

Welp...We found out who was subjugating our little fish friend; an asshole dragon.
Sometimes liberating fish people can be a bitch, especially if some asshole dragon is the enemy.

CJ was killed in one shot, but I did an awesome back flip and evaded an acid bath.

Bonus! Stone Call

Stone Call

A rain of dirt, gravel, and small pebbles fills the area, dealing 2d6 points of bludgeoning damage to every creature in the area. This damage only occurs once, when the spell is cast.
or

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Awesome Adventures in Fantasy Land 3

And now...The Continuation of Awesome Adventures in Fantasy Land...

So, after sorting shit out with the fairies and ogres, we set up camp in some ruins.
The next day, we decided to go exploring. We had two choices, the sweet-ass mushroom forest to search for treasure, or the smelly-ass swamp to search for evil.

Naturally, we decided to go to the mushroom forest, but on the way we were interrupted by a fishman fleeing some ghost pirates. Pirates are dicks, but ghost pirates are even bigger dicks.

We came to his aid, but we had to fight underwater. A fire sorcerer and a paladin don't fare too well in the sea.

Underwater combat is dumb...

Cats are Pretty Sweet (A Cat Haiku)

Man, just thinking about cats makes me lol big time.

Check out my homage to my chubby orange cat named Morris.

Feel free to put this on your FB page, since this cat is pretty cool.

Morris Haiku
Morris is orange
He is chubby fluffy cute
Always snuggling close

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Awesome Adventures in Fantasy Land 2

Somebody casted a fart cloud spell and made all of the ogres puke,  then Gabe shot the shit out of a few of other ogres. Things were looking dire for us, but I deteced the invisble gnome mastermind and dilpomacy'd her.

Turns out that she was a benevolent Gnome Monk and was creating a better life for Under Dark Ogres. She ran some kind of giant ogre-orphanage aka The Ogrenage.

They're ultra-sensitive to outsiders, because extra planar pirates have been coming around and robbing all of the booty.

Everything turned out k, and she brought Aaron back to life.

Awesome Adventures in Fantasy Land

Most adventurers are keen to document  their travels and I am no exception...
When I am battling ogres and shit in the underdark, I need to make sure that awesomness is documented.
Here's one now!

Mushrooms and Ogres

A bunch of ogres and stealthed faerie-witches, ambush the party. Aaron the Sorcerer was killed in one hit. The Luck of the Ancients favored me, and I remained hidden for the entire encounter.

Turns out this fight was just a big misunderstanding, they thought we were ghost pirates or something. Whatevs, I'm just in it for the Benjamins.

~Fin~

(PS If you're curious, I play Pathfinder. In this encounter, I play a Pathfinder Delver, but I also have a Droppin' Bombs Alchemist and Negative Channel Cleric.

Business Cat

Cats are pretty awesome.

One of my favorite internet felines is Business Cat.

"Hey, Barb, can you reschedule my 2 o'clock? I have a dangling piece of string I need to attend to."

~Business Cat

I had an idea I would create an elaborate story about Business Cat making his mark on Wall Street, like Gordon Gecko or something, but then I found this animated gif...

 ...'nuff said.

I made this FaceBook Cover Photo featuring a few of business Business Cats. You can use to make your FB page super sweet and cool

  (From left to right: Old Timey Business Cat, Hello This is Cat, Business Cat)

Hope you had an awesome fun time checking out my Business Cat Collection, Follow me on Twitter for other awesome things, like drawings of ducks.

Zombie Apocalypse: Survival of the Fattest?

I was thinking about the technicalities of a zombie apocalypse today.

So, do we really have much to fear if it actually happens? I mean, won't the frail and the morbidly obese be the first to be transformed? Wouldn't that mean anyone more fit than the fat and frail could escape zombie hoards at a brisk walking pace? It's not like undeath will make these mofos any faster...

Whoa! Just thought of a scary twist...

We're Screwed!

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Alpha Bear

What makes an Alpha Bear? Is an Alpha Bear born or created? For these questions, science has the answers.

All bears are born from Momma Bears, and then they all go to Bear School.

Most bears complete school and grow up to contribute to bear society by being Honey Engineers or Salmon Analysts.

On the other hand, there are bears that just kick ass and take what they want. These bears crave Ultimate Bear Baller status and have to compete with each other for alpha status.

When bears vie for alpha dominance, they rep their stacks and their stables.

The bear with the most salmon, bear bitches, and gallons of honey is crowned Alpha Bear!

"All bears are born, Alpha Bears are forged in the streets."
-Charles Darwin

(PS, Follow me on twitter if you like my style :3 twitter.com/mwhdgbhs)  

Taking it to the Next Level! (?)

I think my drawing skills have leveled up from 3 to 4 (out of 20). Need proof? (see Below)

Drawn with an ink drip pen, batch.

Can't Make a Hoe a Housewife?

So I have this buddy who married a complete hoe. She's totally and ancient and versatile agricultural tool used to move small amounts of soil. All of his friends could see it, but he couldn't for some reason.

I personally told him marrying her was a horrible idea. I was like, "Dude, you're going to be customer servicing your ass off all day, and then come home to a complete mess and no dinner."

He told me to piss off, and then he quoted some song by Tonic. He stopped being my friend when I reminded him about our "Bros Before Hoes" pledge.

He then kicked me in the groin.

I ran into his mom at the gas station and she told me some shit he's dealing with...

I don't feel sorry for him...

Barry Gordy Presents: Robo Rock-Barge

I came up with this idea awhile ago after I watched Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon. The train of thought  this idea went down to arrive at this destination makes about as much sense as the concept itself.

Barry Gordy's Presents Robo Rock-Barge
Rockwell and Debarge move in to a Detroit apartment together. They come up with a brilliant idea to cleanup Detroit and create a new stream of revenue Motown Records; a recycling center.

They then enlist Barry Gordy's top robot scientists to create the perfect recycling machine!

The Robo Rock-Barge MK1!

For reference, pictures of Rockwell and Debarge.

Other Ideas

I have a lot of strange ideas that are not ducks. Maybe one of these silly ideas will take the internet by storm. For example, take this amazing idea called, Adventures on Cat Island.

A shipwrecked sailor from World War II is sucked into The Bermuda Triangle and then transported to an island 1 billion years into the future! The future Earth is like Jurassic Park, but all of the dinosaurs and fauna are tiny. Future Earth is ruled by hyper-intelligent house cats.

The sailor embarks on many hilarious adventures, such as, finding the golden saucer, or teaming up with a group of feline break dancers to save the cat community center.

I'm not sure if this idea has any legs or not...

Ahoy? Mateys?

So...'Sup

So, what's going on?
Nothing? Cool.

Anyway, I'm kind of drawing ducks now. Make sure you check out on the right side of the page for links to all of the random shit I'm doing nowadays.

I'll blog every once in a while on this page when I have something to say, draw, or do that isn't duck related.

Anyway, see ya later!
David